Someone once said, love does not walk away, people do. I will add, and they take love with them. It is like taking it out of an old box, folding it carefully, packing into a bag and taking it away from you. And you are left with nothing but pain, memories and a great feeling of a loss. A loss of something big. Something important. Something meaningful. Once it is gone, nothing else matters. The world is not the same anymore. You are not the same anymore.
And you find yourself thinking… more. Retrospecting… more. Wondering… more. And months will go before finally you will be able to look back and realize how much time you have wasted just sitting there, sorting out the pieces of your heart according to the various degrees of pain you feel.
And months will go before finally you will be able to let go and you finally give another someone a chance. But it will be months later. And for now, here you are, stuck in the past, wishing it was the present.
Months will go before you realize quite a number of things. You will learn that people always turn out how they promised they wouldn’t. You will learn that forever does not really last forever and that feelings have their expiration date. You will learn that people lie. You will learn that people leave. You will learn that some things are just not meant to be.
But most of all you will learn that memories fade. You will sit there thinking about time spent and promises made. You will remember all the happy smiles and all the cheerful moments. You will let the joys of the past put you into illusion of love and warmth. You will feel the presence of your loved one when you close your eyes, but when you reach for them, you will feel them slipping away. You will feel your memories fade.
And you will keep wondering how come that something so strong made you this weak. It will make you confused and lost. Lost to the world. Lost to yourself. You will take time to get over it. You will take time to adjust to a new reality. And then a moment comes when you start to pretend that everything is alright. Because people expect you to be. And because when the whole world thinks that you are fine, sometimes you forget for a while that you are not.
And you will learn new things again. You will learn that people mistake your strength for ability to hide the pain deep inside. You will learn that no matter how much you wish they could be, things will never be the same. And you will learn that no matter how good you are, it does not guarantee a happily-ever-after.
But it all does not matter. It all will not matter. You will wake up every day and keep on walking. No matter how many pieces your heart consists now of, you will hold them all together, as a whole. keep-on-walking And you will keep on walking.
And even if it is damn painful to let go, even if it is the toughest thing in the world not to cry when it is the only thing you actually want to do, even then you still keep on walking.
Even when you know the past can’t become the present and surely can’t turn into the future, you still keep on walking.
Because you will also learn that after every storm will always come the sun. Be it weeks, months or years (God forbid!) the sun will come. Maybe not the way you expected it to be, but most probably the way it is meant to be. Just keep on walking…